@BizResearcher Thanks for the comment. Hmmm. I'm not so sure it's a generational difference. I've had a staffer in her 50s, as well as staff in their 20s. And I've seen this to be true for both. I've noticed that people have a hard time just biting their tongue when the boss says, 'This is the way it is because I said so.' They feel they have to defend, bristle, fight back. Instead of just simply saying, 'Ok. I hear you, boss. I'll take that into consideration.' People have this view that their opinion matters or needs to be heard, on every matter about which a boss has to make a decision. And I don't know where this comes from. More importantly, I don't know exactly how to deal with it successfully. If I am stern, I lose. If I am soft, I lose. Any suggestions?

What i feel that today's employee old or new, doesn't like what boss say or order. So now we employer have to be very polite to our employee to take out our work. As per my experience if you are stern then surely you will lose. But if you are really soft then you will never lose.(i think you are confused) because along with soft words, you should have soft (positive) thinking (vibration) over them. It will attract more to them rather than words. It is not spiritual but it is pratical. With harness and stictness you will not get your work, nor they will be satisfied. So polite & soft words and thoughts will be more useful to your employees.

Are you explaining to your employees why you want something done a certain way? If they understand the logic, they are more apt to buy into it than if they are simply told to do something because you said so. That said, you can't spend all your time persuading your employees to do things your way. They need to understand that you are the boss and, right or wrong, the final decisions are yours.

@John6 Your comments sound an awful lot like the Way of Tao. 'The best leaders are like water. Water is the softest, gentlest substance on earth. But it wears away the hardest stone.' An even broader philosophical question pertaining to business management as a whole is: Why do we desire to have everything done 'our way'? And is this desire a good thing? Is it that we fear that, if our employees don't do things our way, the company won't be profitable or successful? @BizResearcher See, this is the problem, to me. Why do people need to know why all the time? This creates inefficiency and can be a huge time waster. If a secretary has to know why the boss asked h/er to do something, everytime s/he gave an order, the business would be woefully inefficient. This is what I'm talking about. And it seems the Gen Y you referred to, they need to know why all the time, and they need to give their input, when the truth of the matter is: nobody cares that much about your input until you've been working long enough and understand processes well enough to have a valid opinion... ... Of course, you can't say that, now, can you?

when the truth of the matter is: nobody cares that much about your input until you've been working long enough and understand processes well enough to have a valid opinion... -- I think that this is the primary problem right here. You have geared yourself up psychologically for confrontation and warfare with your employees and any ideas they might have. A good idea is a good idea, nor does it much care the age of the person who comes up with it. In fact, one of the reasons that a company might bring in outside consultants is the very fact that a new set of eyes will often spot something that an old set won't, because if a Sacred Cow is threatened, the Old Guard won't let go. This is the thinking that got us into World War 1! Instead of noting 'employee laws' and instead of feeling frustrated, or angry, I would recommend that you take a deep breath, and engage your employees. If you don't feel comfortable with them constantly being engaged in the work effort, then how about a weekly meeting where ideas, processes, and concepts can be put forth without fear of anger or retaliation. If an idea gets enough votes then it would be tested for a week in live conditions. This allows you to channel your workers enthusiasm, which I imagine not a lot of people would complain about, and maintain the sense of control that you feel is required for a boss to have. Just some thoughts from a Gen X'r!

If you're paying them enough, it's simple (and I hate to make it sound harsh..) Fire one. If you have three employees laughing with each other that means that they think you are too lax and they can take advantage. I'm probably like you as a boss. But, because I'm a really cool boss that doesn't give orders and jokes around, my new employees think that they run the place. I just had a new employee and we were going to put him on the website. Therefore, we needed a picture of him. He said he wanted to shave his head. I told him to wait until the picture the taken. He took it like an absolute joke. He thought he could take advantage, blah., blah. This sort of bothered me. So, because I don't want to flat out say I will fire him, I was just very direct and said, 'Don't do it. End of story.' Once you set down rules, then you can be lax. I just learned this a few weeks ago. However, if you have 3. Then there has to be an example made. It's your business, your hard work, your vision. It's not their right to be insubordinate.

@jsreilly I agree with you that a good idea is a good idea no matter where it comes from. Don't see your WW1 analogy, but ok. Your idea to have a weekly session to put forth ideas is not a bad one and might be worth a try. But the real issue for me is not the ideas, it's the insubordination, the lack of following directions, and absolute antagonism of being evaluated. Your comments are interesting but don't really address these.

Hmm, allow me to clarify: In human relations, disagreements and different perspectives are as natural as the sun continuing to burn hydrogen, and then helium. The goal then is not to fall into any traps that turn these natural events into entrenched warfare in the office place, but instead harness the energy of disagreement to create a more vibrant workplace. I disagree with yourpremisethat the employees are being insubordinate. The point I was making was that what someone might find insubordinate could, in fact, be active engagement. Further, if the employees are picking up on your body language and attitude regarding them, and trust me, they probably are as we are geared to pick up the body language of our fellow humans, then they will more then likely respond with increased hostility. Anger breeds anger, and if you are short and curt with someone, then they will be short and curt back. The old expression: 'You attract more flies with honey then you do with vinegar' comes to mind! If you have, in your mind, an attitude of 'Typical employees, always insubordinate' you WILL convey that attitude in your voice, in your body language, and in the way you interact with people. My marketing strategies professor during my MBA program had a great philosophy: Always be positive. Also: Never say no, say Yes! And I agree, negativity breeds negativity, andstiflesdiscussion, and dampens moral. I want my employees to be constantly churning out ideas, and thoughts. Ideas will be, after all, the foundation of the 21st century economy. By going on about 'Laws of Employees,' which comes across as both entrenched thinking and very hostile, you psychologically prepare yourself for a worst case scenario whenever an employee might display a difference from what you consider your ideal. This creates a hostile work environment, and might even contribute to a selffulfillingprophecy where you project hostility towards an employee, who, feeling rejected, begins to project hostility back, confirming your own opinion that the employee was always insubordinate. Where World War 1 comes in is simple: Despite massive technological upheavals from 1890 to 1914, most of the Generals who planned and prepared for WW1 refused to adapt, and insisted on using the same strategies and techniques used in earlier conflicts. The French use of Parade uniforms on the battleground for example. Continued mass charges of infantry against entrenched positions and heavy machine guns. Younger, newer officers and politicians who cried out for change were ignored. You're quote of how they have not been around long enough to know how it is done was almostverbatimthe logic of the Old Guard generals. It took a tragic loss of human life, the destruction of an entire generation of young men within a few short years for people to say: 'Wait a minute. Maybe we should try something new. Maybe we should listen to these new kids despite the fact that they are wet behind the ears. They have just graduated from our finest military academies. They are familiar with this new technology, and more comfortable talking about it, better able to incorporate it into their strategies to achieve true objectives.' It was your quote that brought that to mind. So my advice with your employees is: STAY POSITIVE. A positive and happy boss, who is encouraging, will generate a happier and more productive work place. Prioritize: One of the posters here made a comment about an employee shaving their head. If you have a sales person who has high levels of customer feedback and support, consistently blows away sales expectations, and is constantly generating money for the company, then why do you care what he does with his hair? Obviously his clients don't! Before an issue is made over something that is small, stay focused on the big picture: is the employee accomplishing their work tasks? If they are, then let them do whatever it is they do to make it! Would you be upset if the same employee told you they were shaving their head in support of a family member/spouse/or coworker who had cancer? If not, then it wasn't the shaving of the head that bothered you, but the attitude of the employee, and the attitude of the employee should only bother you if they aren't accomplishing their work objectives. If they are working for you, and doing well, then just don't invite them over to your house if you don't like em!

@petrosianii, Oh no! I have not said like the that our employees should do as per our (employer ) ways only. If they have hidden talent we have to appreciate them and take there views. Many times i found that employer have diffrent views for profit of there business so they want employee work should work in there way otherwise we almost welcome our employees views. Hope you understand me properly.

@isreilly Your comments are well-reasoned, thoughtful, and sound. It is apparent to me that I've got some growing and learning to do on the employee relations side. I am by nature an introverted, tekkie, type. So I will admit I don't always relate to people well. This is something I have to work on. The good note is: I think I have made some improvement with my new contractor. When conflict did arise, I took a very different approach from the 'put my foot down, in your face' approach that is my default. And it worked a lot better.